Posted: February 15, 2017
We’ve decided that all of our toasters need to be able to make toast and report, in detail, their level of brownedness, no matter where we are on the planet. With that in mind, we’re looking for a single, very “special” person to help make our dreams come true.
OK, so they’re not toasters, they’re lights, but you get where we’re going with this. We had to do something to pull you in before this fell was pushed off the cliff into technospeak and full-frontal geekery.
We’ll be honest, we know kinda-sorta what we want, and we know kinda-KINDA-sorta how to get there, but you’ll be our first, our last, our everything, at least when it comes to this stuff… at least for now. OK, this is obnoxiously long, so go potty now, then settle in and STAY WITH US:
Just one, in 277 parts: Develop a seamless, flawless and ever-evolving software/firmware/hardware solution to provide a next-level feature set to our lighting products.
Known Turn-Ons, but we’re willing to experiment:
Not at all negotiable:
Now, allow us to blow smoke up your assumptions:
We get all the regular, boring adult crap that all companies brag about like a 4% company match on our 401(k), company sponsored medical/dental, group term life, long-term/short-term disability, blah, blah, blah.
Above all, we encourage and reward people who figure shit out.
If this sounds appealing to you, and you have the chops, please make the best first impression possible and reach out at email@example.com. If we like what we see, we’ll get back with you.